Robert Pattinson is fueling the gay rumors, by fanning the flames of his spontaneous faggotry with Taylor Lautner?!

OMG..... did you see the 2011 MTV Movie Awards?

If you didn't, here's what happened........

Not only did they release the official Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn pt. 1 Trailer, something else happened.... something more significant......

Here's the official trailer - watch it 50 times and proceed to read the rest of this article.

Has you heart stopped yet? If not, it will when I'm through with you! Something happened at the MTV Movie Awards... something that is almost sac religious according to Twilight. Something that is NOT HELPING the GAY RUMORS COWBOY-RPATTZ! YOU'VE GONE FULL BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN ON US!

Here is the evidence....

ROBERT KISSED TAYLOR ON THE MOUTH!!!!!!!

Robert then proceeds to kiss Taylor on the fucking forehead, and kissed his hand?!!!!!!!!!!!

WTF!?

If they were doing this for shock value, it worked..... however, it was a little too shocking. Do you like my gay flag style of WTF!? ... I thought it would be appropriate for this, not to mention sad and disturbing.

Also, Rob was very rude towards Reese Witherspoon. He went on and on, in an awkward fashion, telling everyone about their first job together. Reese stared in Vanity Fair, and Rob played her son in the movie. Apparently his bit was cut out for some reason; however, Rob was determined to put the blame on Reese. He said clear as day: “I didn’t cut you, but I did f— you,”

^turn up the volume^

 

Rob is weird and clearly wasted. I can't believe he would do that to Reese, she's a sweetheart! I absolutely adored her in Legally Blonde - it was brilliant! Reese got him back by pointing out he messed up the joke, he should have stated he was “the best mother f—– in Hollywood.” I'm almost sorry for being the bringer of bad news; however, I'm not sorry for making the Cowboy-RPattz fish tank - don't forget to click on the tank to feed Robert's fishies!

Have fun with your gay Robert on Taylor flashbacks and nightmares!

Love,
Jackie ^_^

Justin Bieber's WHOREmones are out of control!

The pictures speak for themselves:



Eww! Aren't they like, 12? I wasn't doing that til I was 14... what little whores, right?

I can't write anymore, my dad is saying we have to go do stuff for Memorial Day... which is weird since he wasn't in the military. My brother better not try to shove a hotdog down my shirt again!

Love,
Jackie ^_^

RPattz is stupid & TSA needs to seriously chill out!

Hey bitches, guess who's back for a visit? I'll give you a clue, he's a mumbling idiot that thinks he can sing... give up? He also has his own fish tank...

IT'S COWBOY RPATTZ!

This is awful... why does he embarrass himself like this? All of his fans think his shit doesn't stink; however, this is one big fat deuce. He wonders why little girls are obsessed, yet two of his songs are in the first Twilight movie. He personalized the character and you wonder why the fangirls are crazy? Please to you... this was planned from the beginning.

click to enlarge

My mom got back from France and had to do a business thing in Missouri, she wanted me to meet her there and spend "quality time"... ugh, I mean, I like, love her, but she's really touch-y feel-y. Have any of you been to the airport recently? TSA is a fucking joke. They were giving me the hardest time with "procedures". But they let the burqa bitch pass through without a pat down? This has nothing to do with race; in fact, the bitch in the burqa had lighter skin then me. However, do you know how many pounds of C3 plastic explosives you could pack inside one of those damned things? No really, does anyone know... this should be made public.

Since TSA was being unfair, I tried my best to fuck with them. I was testing them, seeing how far I could go... how many insults and plausible arguments I could make without being sent to a secret back-room... or get arrested. I managed to survive all TSA waves; I wasn't sent back into the unknown pedobear rooms... nor was I taken to a police station.

I propose a new game, the next time you fly - fuck with TSA. See how far you can go and we'll create a tally point system to see who wins. We'll take into account time, certain words, quoting the Constitution, quoting the Bill of Rights, profanity, name calling, intimidation, staying calm and of course certain airports. Some airports are tighter than others, ex. LAX vs. some airport in bumfuck nowhere Missouri.



1 point per minute
5 points per Constitution quote
5 points per Bill of Rights quote
2 points per profane word
4 points per profane sentence
2 points per name calling
5 points for intimidation
5 points for staying calm
1 point for low risk airport
3 points for medium risk airport
5 points for high risk airport

Have fun fucking with TSA!

Love,
Jackie ^_^

New Poem & Osama bin Laden kept a diary?

Hey Bitches!!!!! Here's my new poem, enjoy!!!!

As I swipe my gold card,

I feel release.

As I strut and pose,

I feel at ease.

As I pretend to like you,

I feel breezed.

As I glance and laugh,

You feel diseased.

So, what do you think? I know you love it :)

As a fan of the Sarcasm Society, I read one of their posts about Osama's diary. What would the worlds #1 terrorist write about on dark, gloomy nights with fiery passion? I'm sure he described, in great detail, how he would film the greatest 15 seconds of porn: Justin Bieber, Rebecca Black, and a special guest from bin Laden's childhood village... titled: 2 girls 1 goat

click to enlarge

It's kinda like that question of:
would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Let's try to use a goat instead:
would a goatfuck fuck if a goatfuck could fuck Osama?

I'm confused, why would anyone find a goat ass attractive? I don't get it... they smell! Maybe his six wives got fat and ugly; maybe the goat smelled better? That's a scary thought; though, entirely possible.

 

Love,

Jackie ^_^