Rihanna is see-through, Justin Bieber is a NASCAR driver, Kristen Stewart gets a fender bender and Miley Cyrus gets a new tattoo.

Hey bitches!



"Does my ass look fat?"


Some one's a whore... if she were at the beach, this would be perfectly acceptable. However, this is not the case. Is anyone else sick of her red hair?


"What can I say, I'm Canadian!"

Justin, you are not a NASCAR driver... please stop playing dress-up, you are such a poser.


"ughrefjdsgjgb have a good day!"

Opps, sorry Kristen! It looks like the chick with the ugly poop colored station wagon rammed into Kristen's mini, but I'm not sure. Either way, they're smiling at each other and no one is mad. This is great, perhaps Kristen is maturing after all.





Looks like Miley Cyrus got a new tattoo, it looks like a dream catcher... is she even Native American? I've always found dream catchers and totum poles creepy as fuck. Please don't give me shit... my dad is Cherokee and Blackfoot, bitches!


"Opps! I feel a movement, mom grab a bucket... this is gonna be one fat deuce!"
I don't think that hotdog was kosher...

"I haven't eaten real food in years. I think my stomach is gonna explode!"
Are you fucking kidding me?

"Look mom, no gag reflexes!"
No really... what are you doing?

"I dropped that deuce and now, I'm 5 pounds lighter!"


Love,
Jackie ^_^

Robert Pattinson gets in a pie fight?

Hey bitches,



Robert gets a pie to the face!



Celebuzz.com




Apparently it was for the movie he's shooting right now... but we all know the dude who threw the pie was laughing. I salute you, mystery pie thrower!


"My head tastes good! omnomnom"


Love,
Jackie ^_^

Westboro Baptists protesting outside Ryan Dunn's funeral - SICK FUCKS!

Hey bitches....




I am so fucking disgusted right now, I've had ENOUGH of Westboro's judgement and condemnation. They say "God hates fags", "Thank God for dead soldiers" and now "Ryan Dunn is in hell"???


huffingtonpost.com


Let me say, first and foremost, THIS IS NOT CHRISTIAN BEHAVIOR! I beg my readers, please, do not let these hypocrites represent the Christian faith. These people are lost, deceived and possessed to judge and hate others. This is why I can't stand little, insignificant churches. These are not houses of God, these are dens of robbers!

"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?" Matthew 7:3

"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." Matthew 7:12

Worry not, bitches... these sick fucks will be judged as harshly as they have imposed their judgement on others. Woe to their sorry, fat, pork eating asses. May God have mercy on those who do not judge and condemn... but by all means, have at it, against those who have gone against your word.





Everyone post #GodBlessRyanDunn on twitter

Love,
Jackie ^_^

Bad Lip Reading: Black Umbrella - Miley Cyrus

Hey Bitches, this is fucking gold!
Dear @MileyCyrus, please hire Bad Lip Reading to write your next album.


BLACK UMBRELLA


LYRICS:

Just give me that blunt and I'll last all night
All night
I wish I had like 500

Damn boy, if it hurt the first time
Shouldn't be riding inside the whore shack
Dude's so crazy, he tryin' to sell me hubcaps
Hubcap lover won't get anywhere without
That bazooka in the front and then a homie tattoo
On his shoulder from a Puerto Rican dude he used to knew
A dark threat in the oasis sayin' "go shorty"
Listen up, boys

We'll have time to play when you go and move that Jaguar
Black Umbrella, Black Umbrella
I'ma bring stars to make us bizarre
We gonna have a bonfire tonight
Yeah, yeah, yeah
We smokin' the right stuff
We smokin' the right stuff

Extra lemon in my Diet Snapple
Makes a girl happy
Oh yeah that's right
S**t that's right
Tea got me jammin' from head to toe

Now, why in the world did you treat me
As if I didn't understand trigonometry and Tai Chi
Inverse cosine (see?)
Oh my gosh, there's never gonna be a better Padawan than me
"Meshuggeneh Vinny" had a hoopty
And the boom boom started moving us
Till he proceeded to jump out the train
And braid his show-dog, "Tiny Timmy Tokyo"
And I'm pregnant

But right now I'm flying and my crew is on the floor
Black Umbrella, Black Umbrella
I'ma get dumb and bang a wizard
We gonna have a bonfire tonight
Yeah, yeah, yeah
We smoking' the right stuff
We smoking' the right stuff

Ain't no big cauliflower
Pinch me, ow, don't forget to kiss it
Please help me down from this swing
I got my plasma sword and I'm ready to crank it!

Happy tree, I drink smoothies
Don't worry dawg, I'm tryin' to find my shrimp
In the cabbage patch, pink spaghetti
500 crackers I was saving for my granny
Cosmic wings, whoopsie
Let's buy two big industrial windmills
I already got one
Who needs three?
Well, the first one... I broke it

But right now I'm flying and my crew is on the floor
Black Umbrella, Black Umbrella
We'll blaze up a blunt in my car
We going home to eat, ok?
Yeah, yeah, yeah
We smokin' the right stuff
But right now I'm flyin' and my crew is on the floor (samurai)
Black Umbrella, Black Umbrella
We'll blaze up a blunt in my car
We gonna have a bonfire tonight
Yeah, yeah, yeah
We smokin' the right stuff
(Windmill)
We smokin' the right stuff

Music and Lyrics © 2011, Bad Lip Reading


Love,
Jackie ^_^

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