I am so fucking disgusted right now, I've had ENOUGH of Westboro's judgement and condemnation. They say "God hates fags", "Thank God for dead soldiers" and now "Ryan Dunn is in hell"???
Let me say, first and foremost, THIS IS NOT CHRISTIAN BEHAVIOR! I beg my readers, please, do not let these hypocrites represent the Christian faith. These people are lost, deceived and possessed to judge and hate others. This is why I can't stand little, insignificant churches. These are not houses of God, these are dens of robbers!
"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?" Matthew 7:3
"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." Matthew 7:12
Worry not, bitches... these sick fucks will be judged as harshly as they have imposed their judgement on others. Woe to their sorry, fat, pork eating asses. May God have mercy on those who do not judge and condemn... but by all means, have at it, against those who have gone against your word.
Hey Bitches, this is fucking gold!
Dear @MileyCyrus, please hire Bad Lip Reading to write your next album.
BLACK UMBRELLA
LYRICS:
Just give me that blunt and I'll last all night
All night
I wish I had like 500
Damn boy, if it hurt the first time
Shouldn't be riding inside the whore shack
Dude's so crazy, he tryin' to sell me hubcaps
Hubcap lover won't get anywhere without
That bazooka in the front and then a homie tattoo
On his shoulder from a Puerto Rican dude he used to knew
A dark threat in the oasis sayin' "go shorty"
Listen up, boys
We'll have time to play when you go and move that Jaguar
Black Umbrella, Black Umbrella
I'ma bring stars to make us bizarre
We gonna have a bonfire tonight
Yeah, yeah, yeah
We smokin' the right stuff
We smokin' the right stuff
Extra lemon in my Diet Snapple
Makes a girl happy
Oh yeah that's right
S**t that's right
Tea got me jammin' from head to toe
Now, why in the world did you treat me
As if I didn't understand trigonometry and Tai Chi
Inverse cosine (see?)
Oh my gosh, there's never gonna be a better Padawan than me
"Meshuggeneh Vinny" had a hoopty
And the boom boom started moving us
Till he proceeded to jump out the train
And braid his show-dog, "Tiny Timmy Tokyo"
And I'm pregnant
But right now I'm flying and my crew is on the floor
Black Umbrella, Black Umbrella
I'ma get dumb and bang a wizard
We gonna have a bonfire tonight
Yeah, yeah, yeah
We smoking' the right stuff
We smoking' the right stuff
Ain't no big cauliflower
Pinch me, ow, don't forget to kiss it
Please help me down from this swing
I got my plasma sword and I'm ready to crank it!
Happy tree, I drink smoothies
Don't worry dawg, I'm tryin' to find my shrimp
In the cabbage patch, pink spaghetti
500 crackers I was saving for my granny
Cosmic wings, whoopsie
Let's buy two big industrial windmills
I already got one
Who needs three?
Well, the first one... I broke it
But right now I'm flying and my crew is on the floor
Black Umbrella, Black Umbrella
We'll blaze up a blunt in my car
We going home to eat, ok?
Yeah, yeah, yeah
We smokin' the right stuff
But right now I'm flyin' and my crew is on the floor (samurai)
Black Umbrella, Black Umbrella
We'll blaze up a blunt in my car
We gonna have a bonfire tonight
Yeah, yeah, yeah
We smokin' the right stuff
(Windmill)
We smokin' the right stuff
I finally got a twitter, I should have done this months ago. My first tweet, as they call it, is appropriately aimed at that dickhead Roger Ebert. He was bashing Ryan Dunn about drinking and driving.
I typed a simple, yet accurate statement on my twitter.
This is a sad day for Jackass fans. I loved Jackass, Viva la Bam and Bam's Unholy Union. I've watched Bam, Ryan and the gang for many years. Some of the stuff they did was nasty, but their stunts were amazing. Ryan Dunn's Porsche was found in a forest area and quote "engulfed in flames". They are speculating that alcohol was involved; however, this is tragic. There was a passenger in the car with Ryan, that has yet to be identified.
Today, am I not a stuck up bitch... today I mourn with Ryan's friends, family and millions of fans. Ryan, you made me laugh on countless occasions - you made me wet my Ralph Lauren panties.
Here is a video from Bam's parents, they are both upset, confused, shocked and saddened. Please send your prayers out to Ryan, his friends and family and his girlfriend. She loved him dearly. April said Bam is out of town, he doesn't know what to think of the whole thing. Most if not all of the other Jackass guys have posted something on their twitter accounts.
I was very shocked after watching a video on youtube about "uncut" celebrities. I don't think I will ever be able to look at them the same. I find myself immediately uninterested in them, regardless of how handsome they are. I just can't go there... it's weird! I'm not trying to imply that all men should be circumcised; however, I personally don't find the "uncut" variety appealing. I'm clearly stating an opinion, so don't get your knickers in a bunch.
Hang on to your pantie hoes and watch this video...
And I thought Rob's obsession with Texas was too much to handle... this is shocking. I am so uncomfortable right now. I just want to scream and freak out about this. Twilight will never be the same...
Apparently, there is this guy in San Francisco that wants circumcision banned on children under 18. He is trying to have a bill passed to make this illegal... what I find disgusting, is his stupid comic book titled "Foreskin Man". Whether the bill is anti-Semitic or not, the comic book is very blatant about it. "Monster Mohel" is portrayed as an evil man in a black hat (aka) a Rabbi. If people don't want their sons circumcised, that is their choice. But it is unconstitutional to impose this ban over others, especially when it is a sacred religious tradition. What's next - public prayer banned? This could get ugly, bitches... Here are some pictures from the comic book, be your own judge.
Eyes of Noctum
From left to right: nerd, mommas boy, whore, Weston Cage, freak, caveman.
Did you know that Nicolas (my hair is a bird's nest) Cage has a son... no, not the little asian kid with his new wife... but a white son from a previous bitch? His name is Weston Cage and he's in a death metal band. Weston isn't fooling around, he's seriously hardcore... meaning, it isn't an act like Alice Cooper. However, the more I look at pictures of Weston... the more I question any relation to Nicolas (my hair is a bird's nest) Cage. Check out these photos, you'll see what I mean...
Apparently Weston had just finished a session at the gym with his trainer and they both went to a restaurant nearby. Soon after they sat down, they were looking through the menu. Weston had ordered something his trainer did not approve of, due to his predetermined workout and diet plan. Weston freaked out and started shoving his trainer... the trainer pinned him to the ground, but let him go... Weston's temper tantrum continued until the police arrived and threatened to taze him. Even after they hand-cuffed him, he continued to fight - resulting in being strapped to a gurney headed towards a hospital/mental health facility for psychiatric evaluation.
As someone who has grown up with money, I know very well what it's like to get my way. If someone tells me "no", all hell breaks loose. Weston's reaction could have been caused because of one of two reasons: 1) Weston's dad is Nicolas (my hair is a bird's nest) Cage - he has access to unlimited funds and is a spoiled brat. 2) Weston had a horrible childhood and was told "no" too many times - now that he's older, he is trying to mend his old wounds covered in sorrow.... option 2 would explain the black metal.
If he's a spoiled brat, then he needs to learn how to avoid a temper tantrum. When I'm told "no", I use personal attacks - slice and dice them until they bleed and you get your way :)
If he's consumed in sorrow then this isn't a pathetic outburst, this is just sad.
This is Weston... several years ago.
I still don't think he's related to Nic... like, at all.
Not only did they release the official Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn pt. 1 Trailer, something else happened.... something more significant......
Here's the official trailer - watch it 50 times and proceed to read the rest of this article.
Has you heart stopped yet? If not, it will when I'm through with you! Something happened at the MTV Movie Awards... something that is almost sac religious according to Twilight. Something that is NOT HELPING the GAY RUMORS COWBOY-RPATTZ! YOU'VE GONE FULL BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN ON US!
Robert then proceeds to kiss Taylor on the fucking forehead, and kissed his hand?!!!!!!!!!!!
WTF!?
If they were doing this for shock value, it worked..... however, it was a little too shocking. Do you like my gay flag style of WTF!? ... I thought it would be appropriate for this, not to mention sad and disturbing.
Also, Rob was very rude towards Reese Witherspoon. He went on and on, in an awkward fashion, telling everyone about their first job together. Reese stared in Vanity Fair, and Rob played her son in the movie. Apparently his bit was cut out for some reason; however, Rob was determined to put the blame on Reese. He said clear as day: “I didn’t cut you, but I did f— you,”
^turn up the volume^
Rob is weird and clearly wasted. I can't believe he would do that to Reese, she's a sweetheart! I absolutely adored her in Legally Blonde - it was brilliant! Reese got him back by pointing out he messed up the joke, he should have stated he was “the best mother f—– in Hollywood.” I'm almost sorry for being the bringer of bad news; however, I'm not sorry for making the Cowboy-RPattz fish tank - don't forget to click on the tank to feed Robert's fishies!
Have fun with your gay Robert on Taylor flashbacks and nightmares!
Did you know that Nicolas (my hair is a bird's nest) Cage has a son... no, not the little asian kid with his new wife... but a white son from a previous bitch? His name is Weston Cage and he's in a death metal band. Weston isn't fooling around, he's seriously hardcore... meaning, it isn't an act like Alice Cooper. However, the more I look at pictures of Weston... the more I question any relation to Nicolas (my hair is a bird's nest) Cage. Check out these photos, you'll see what I mean...
